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[28 Jul 2007|12:41pm] |
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Never is usually a lie.
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[16 Jul 2007|04:13pm] |
As I was working out at the Aquatic center today, I was surprised to see another female there. More often than not I'm the only girl in the weight room. Myself, I usually work out before I;ve showered, I'm definitely not wearing makeup and generally am not caring about my appearamce and sweating up a storm. This girl however, did not seem to think this way. i'm pretty sure she was wearing makeup and was working out with her hair down. This is just impractical. Is this jealousy, wonder, or pity I don't know. It just struck me as odd.
I'm at a point where I like being young. I'm just trying to be 20 and have a good time. It's terribly difficult for me to try not to think of the future as this horrifying impending thing, but I'm getting better at it. So, good times being had by many.
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[06 Jul 2007|04:17pm] |
Battling headaches for some reason. The only thing that really helps is caffiene but I can tell they're not caffiene headaches...I've had enough of those to know when they are and aren't. Poo.
I chopped all my hair off. Well, I paid someone else to do it. My hair always looks like the wind is blowing it to the right. It's funny to look at I'm sure...if you're not me.
Work! Ick! Then a party! Whoop!
Hazah and good night.
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[23 Jun 2007|01:28pm] |
"I'm building memories on things we have not said."
Fiona Apple
I'm trying to decide between being blunt and risking embarrassment (which has happened before) and waiting for and being subtle and missing a perfectly good opprotunity (which has also happened before).
Decisions, decisions.
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[12 Jun 2007|02:09pm] |
I sleep so much lately. I'm pretty sure that if I had as much sleep as I wanted it would be about 12 hours a night. Then, I would stay up til 3 in the morning because I slept so much and it would cycle and cycle and cycle...
Anyone that knows me pretty well knows my tendency towards random crushes. They are very annoying. I've figured out that in reference to said crushes my relationships tend to be like throwing so many darts at a dart board. Some time, one will stick...and I don't know what this implies or if I'm OK with it. This of course is brought on my a random crush..or several with a dominant one.
Regardless...life is fun:)
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| The Breakdown |
[03 Jun 2007|01:05am] |
My God please
I’ve said it with sympathy
They poured you into his backseat
Crumpled up like paper
All vodka, and cigarettes,
And tears
Unfolding yourself
To look for your
Fucking cigarettes
Or your goddamn phone
Profanity’s your harmony
We poured you back out
Onto his floor
Placed carefully on a stage
Elbow here
Knee there
Tragedy everywhere
Like origami torn apart
And thrown back together again
You crawled to the bathroom
Wailing, unleashing
Realizing
Realization of a life completely broken
Oh, they can say that it could be salvaged
But you know
And I know
It’s shattered.
As for lives, darling
You’ll have to have a new one
And at all this I prayed
My God please
And I’ve said it with sympathy
A thing of you from me
I’ve rarely seen.
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| Watch this... |
[31 May 2007|10:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
I'd like to update about some situations but I've not so suddenly realized the futility of the situation so I'll post about my day.
While some people have epiphanies while they are in the shower, apparently I realize things at Taco bell.
THIGS I REALIZED AT TACO BELL:
1. It pisses me off when people don't appreciate their kids. I saw a beautiful and delightful little girl who was maybe three, more than likely two with a mother who it seemed was annoyed by the girl's mere existence. I wanted to say, "Look lady if its that much trouble I've got a mom who's dying for grandkids so.." It makes me so mad! People should value children, dammit!
2. If someone screwing up your taco is the worst thing that happens to you in a given day, then have a party when you get home cause life's pretty good. This is pretty self explanatory.
Then i bought some grown up clothes for cheap and I watched some Shakespeare. This was was interupted by periodic periods of rage...but this was calmed by my friends who reminded me, again, of said futility and then I smiled some. And now I am home.
The End.
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[30 May 2007|11:56pm] |
I'm in a really good peaceful place.
That's all really.
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| She's got LEGS!!!! |
[28 May 2007|10:00pm] |
I don't know what suddenly happened but in a short period of time I became really comfortable with my body. Today, I went to the lake with my step dad and my little brother and I wore my bathing suit outside amongst people with no problem. Before, this would have been an impossibility. I've also started wearing stuff that-get this- shows my legs. Do not mistake this for dressing like a floozy (to quote my mother) i've just suddenly I've started to not care. I wouldn't mention it but I have no idea where it came from.
If anyone has any theories, let me know.
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[19 May 2007|11:32am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
I've realized something about myself and this is the place people talk about that sort of thing right? Anyway, I've realized that I am a skeptic about love. Ok, maybe skeptic is the wrong word...but I'm definitely more rational and cautious than most. My friends keep telling me that I doom stuff from the beginning by saying that it won't last. I'm sure this is true. But honestly, I don't know how else to be.
I just think it's silly to fall in love quickly. I know some people say that you can't help it, but apparently I can. But at the same time, I seem to take break ups harder than the people I date. What's up with that? Actually, I think it's just boys. Stupid boys and their boy type ways.
I still can't understand this. Having no desire to be with a person but still hurting about them. What the hell is up with that? And as far as the cautious thing, it's not that I don't care, because I do, probably more than most...I guess I just see the inevitability of some thigs and don't want to hurt me or the other person.
I think I'm OK with being single. That's unusual but I think it's true. No pursuing-ness for me. Oh, well, means more free time.
Emo-ocity over.
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[19 May 2007|11:04am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
I bought two books at the thrift store yesterday. A dime a piece.
1. Is Our Children Learning? Pretty much why Bush sucks. And if you like him, he actually said that, by the by.
2. The American Labor Movement. I'm very excited about this one. It looks to be all filled with nerdiness and wonder.
Yaayyy.
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[10 May 2007|03:54pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
I'm having one of those "I have nothing to do, but I have something to do soon so I can't really do anything else..." times. So, here I am.
I'm going to be a clown this summer. Yes, you read that correctly. I am going to be a clown. I am learning to face paint and I will make $50 for a children's birthday party. This is all granted that I can learn really fast and get a costume. I cannot express how excited I am about this. I have to come up with a name and a snazzy costume.
Help me think of names.
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[08 May 2007|02:18am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
] |
Hi my name is Kasey and I am emotionally frazzled as well as being the human embodiment of awkward turtle. Yaaaaay.
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| Dating Language |
[07 May 2007|02:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
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thoughtful |
] |
I've realized something about myself. I've had not a lot, but several people tell me things like I'm the most beautiful person they've ever known, they've never felt this way before, they love me more...yada yada yada.
I try not to say these sorts of things.
I think it's just an over developed sense of reality. The times these things have been said to me they end up getting said to someone else. And honestly I belive it's true everytime it's said. I just think it ends up being said every time...which honestly makes it less special.
So, my dating language may be a little harsh and for that I apologize. I just think it's naive to say these sorts of things and honestly think it's the last time it will happen.
Like I said, overdeveloped sense of reality.
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[02 May 2007|10:25am] |
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| This is gonna be pretty emo, so be prepared |
[30 Apr 2007|10:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
] |
I 've been thinking about my involvement in different group settings. Social workers would call these systems. Thing is, I'm involved in a lot. However, I just don't feel like I'm a part of them. I have the best friends in the world and I am totally a part of that system but there are other groups that I feel like it is impossible for me to break into for some reason. Whether it is a student organization, or school, or work, I feel like people are like, "Oh yeah, we love Kasey." But it stops there. It's like a can't really break into these settings on a real level. It is shallow and based on that system itself. I know that this is not always the case, there are exceptions. But it's like I see these people forming these great relationships in groups I'm involved in, and I have to fight to do so.
Yeah, that's pretty mcuh it.
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[27 Apr 2007|10:45am] |
Having an awesome week.
I think its funny how you can be pretty much over someone, and then when you see them with someone else..even joking...
It still feels weird a little. Poop on these stupid human feelings. Poop I say.
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[23 Apr 2007|09:49am] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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So, I think I'm that kid who screws up the curve in a class.
Not only that, I'm the kid who whines about how unprepared they are, and then does well, and still screws up the curve.
I take tests REALLY quickly and I think it scares others. I want to try harder in school, I do. But I fear without consequences for my lack of actions I won't learn. I'm saying that I make decent grades, far too decent for the amount of effort I put in. Yes, I'm complaining about this. Its mostly cause I feel unprepared for my career and I resent me and my school for this.
Sigh. Complain.
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| At the behest of Kathy and Andrew sort of.. |
[17 Apr 2007|09:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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nostalgic |
] |
So, here I am on livejournal. I remembera time when I was addicted to livejournal like I was addicted to myspace and am now addicted to facebook. Those are all singular words mind you...
I see livejournal as I see some relationships. I didn't want to give up on livejournal, I didn't. I loved livejournal and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for livejournal...but something just wasn't right...it just felt over. Don't get me wrong kiddo, but....
I don't know maybe livejournal and I can try to give it a go again. You know a couple of entries here and there, nothing too involved. I don't know I guess we'll see.....
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